On Thursday, December 3rd, the band was heading to Florence, AL for a night of rock n' roll like no other. I had decided to just go to the shows on Friday and Saturday instead. It would have been a long, long driving weekend if I went to all of them. While sitting in my p.j.'s on Thursday afternoon, I received a text message from Angel. He was asking if I was going to attend the show that night. I informed in about the distance I would have to travel. Fortunately, Angel, Christeen and Cameron are the only guys that can talk me into going to shows that far away... Angel had succeeded on this one. I immediately got dressed, packed, showered and headed towards Florence, AL... a six hour drive :( I arrived in Florence around 7 pm and the band was still setting up at Brinely Bros. The bar was long and narrow, similar to Peach Tree Tavern in Atlanta (for those of you whom have been). The stage was not "Pygmie friendly" Chris's drum set sat behind a support beam... and the stage was so small they had to put some of their case down to stand on to help accommodate their wild rock show. The band headed towards the hotel. Jameson Inn was our home for the night. I sat in the hotel and freshened up. Cameron stopped by the room and gave me some "Official Merchandise" of the Velcro Pygmies. It was a cool hat.
It was really cold outside that night! I headed back to the bar with Angel and prepared ourselves for a show! The fans were really into it! The show went very well. The stage held up. The only part that became dangerous was the ceiling fan that hung above Angel's head. Every flip of his guitar had me cringing, just waiting for his next flip to become his last. After the show I headed to Waffle House with Dep. I kept him company while he ordered take-out. A nice, healthy wheat sandwich and a big chocolate milk. I took him back to the hotel, then headed back to the bar to watch the band finish up packing up the equipment. I bet you wonder why on Earth I would go BACK to the bar, after I was already at the hotel. The band's best conversations and memorable moments, happen after the shows. I looked up the Pygmies hater blog and laughed at the newest entry.
He had revised the blog he had written about his latest Pygmie show in Texas. Pygmie fans were outraged when our beloved Pyghater was not hating on the Pygmies. It was not near as fun to read a nice blog. He is a Pyghater... he needs to be hating! The fans never hear of people disliking the Pygmies, it's a fresh alternative to all our mushy Pygmie fan world. Ergo, the Pyghater changed his original nice blog, to that of one that was borderline offensive, just the way we like it :) Christeen and I drove back to the hotel. I had just got my car fixed, I think his intention was to break it again. Word to the wise, don't ever let Christeen take your keys and say, "let's see how well they fixed your car"... I nearly lost my life that night, Ford Focus' are not race cars, nor do they drive like one. A quick trip with Cameron, Brad and Christeen to the Florence Waffle House. Yummy. It was followed by another dangerous car ride to the hotel, where I could have used a helmet and a safety harness of some sort. As we got out of the car he handed me my keys, I dropped them. He gave me a funny smirk and told me to pick them up. I was a bit nervous. With a smile like that I knew he was contemplating something. As I reached down for my keys he jumped me like a dog in heat. Well, not as much me, as my face. I had never been "punched" in the face by a penis before, but I guess there's a first for everything. I went back to the hotel, iced my bruised head, and went to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day of adventures.Friday I got up late, and only had time to brush my teeth, wash my face and head out the door. I followed Angel to drop off his car. He was going to be my passenger for the trip. It's not like we're friends or anything, but it is a good excuse for riding in the HOV lane. I do the same thing on trips with my dog. Haha. We plugged in his satellite radio and my gps and headed towards Meridian, MS for the bar's GRAND OPENING. As we were driving into Meridian, we noticed some road construction. This was not the first time, and I don't think it'll be the last, that my GPS lead us to the wrong place. We got a hold of Chris, who gave us directions. The bar was awesome! If you have ever been to Rhythm & Brews is Tuscaloosa you'd understand when I say, it was exactly the same... but 10 times bigger. The band set up all the lights while I organized the t-shirts.
I then made a nice little table out of the cases, and Christeen set up a light so that I wouldn't be in the dark selling the shirts. I headed to the hotel with Angel along side of me ( i didn't know if there were gonna be any HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I wanted to play it safe). At the hotel Angel, Christeen and I played around in the parking lot while Cameron bought the hotel rooms. Angel had bought a sling-shot... very scary. The sling-shot instantly turned Angel and Christeen into 5 year old boys. They were finding random objects to throw in it. Rocks, toys, lighters, and Chik-Fil-A sauce packets ...anything they could get their hands on. I showered in the hotel, changed and drove with Angel to the hotel. As luck would have it, there were no HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I felt generous and gave him a ride anyway. It was cold out, I'd hate see to see him get sick because I made him walk to the bar. The bar was starting to rock. The fans were different than the usual Pygmies crowd. These fans stood in anticipation, not knowing what to expect out of this "80's cover-band called The Velcro Pygmies". I positioned myself at the front of the stage. I figured, a Pygmie veteran, like myself, would show these soon-to-be Pygheads how to rock out at a Pygmie show. I love to watch the faces of the crowd when the Pygmies hit that first note... their faces light up in shock! All that power, all that electricity... all that spandex. Haha. The show was a lot of fun. I gained a lesbian lover. Whom declared her homosexuality by grinding up and down on me, nearly knocking me to the floor. Don't worry, I was detained, but Cameron was more than willingly to snap a few candid shots of the sexual harassment. It was then I had decided to go to stand side stage, I felt a tiny bit safer next to Christeen, which isn't saying much, since my head still was hurting from the previous night's dong-beating. After the show I went outside, it was snowing! I was determined to make a snow angel, but my outfit wouldn't permit me from doing so... not enough layers to stay warm. I took Dep to the hotel, then went back to the bar and chatted it up with John Farrell through texting. It's always nice to know that other band guys exist outside the Pygmies, lol. Though I consider Farrell a permanent family member of the band. We headed to Waffle House in Cameron's Yukon. His leather seats made it nearly impossible to get warm... and the defrosters couldn't work hard or fast enough to get the ice off the front windshield to see. He drove off anyway. I thought, here I go again, another night of dangerous travels with the Pygmies. We arrived at Waffle House in one piece, freezing, but in one piece. We got the privilege of Cameron serenading us with original Waffle House songs from the juke box. I did take a video of his rendition of "Special Lady at the Waffle House" but it was on my phone, ask me about seeing it at the next show you attend, you don't want to miss out on this "gift" that Cameron supplies us with during our meal. We all headed back to the hotel. The next day's drive would be a long one, lucky, lucky us!Saturday, December 6th, I woke up, called Angel, and we packed my car up, headed to Scottsboro, AL. Which is about a 4 hour drive. Driving with Angel is very entertaining. Most of the gas stations we stop at are truck stops, which leaves Angel to wander around in the truck stop while I pump gas. I guess you could call them impulse buys... sling-shots, giant lighters, stuffed animals, pantie hose, fleece NY Mets blankets. Pretty much the stuff that NEVER sells at a gas station, Angel buys, and usually the dust on them proves my statement. It's always a surprise when he gets back in my car. As we were driving down a back road of Alabama, we came across a road block.
There were 7 cop cars and 3 women in cuffs... none of which were wearing shoes, socks, nor under garments of any kind. It was like an episode of COPS. I was hoping to see one in a Pygmies shirt. For those of you who haven't heard this story, in the event that you get carried out of your trailer in handcuffs wearing a Pygmie tee on an episode of COPS, the Velcro Pygmies will play at your house for free. So far, no die-hard Pygmie fans have lived up to the challenge. Anyway, back to the blog. After about 20 minutes of watching this all go down, the cops drove off and allowed us to pass through. We arrived at the bar around 5:30 pm. As we pulled up we were a bit skeptical about it. It looked like an abandoned building. Cameron's SUV was there, so we walked in. The inside wasn't much better. Wild Horse is exactly like you'd expect. Random, miss-matched chairs and tables cover the floor,
horse shoes, neon beer advertisements, and 70's mirrors decorate the walls, and the smell is similar to that of a roller rink... old shoes. haha The stage was good size. All I cared about was their nice lcd tv's that were mounted on the wall... it was the SEC football Championship, Roll Tide! I ran some errands for the guys, getting coffee, energy drinks, Gatorade, and food, then headed back to watch the end of the Bama game. It was funny, Jason and I were watching the commercials during the game, and our favorite commercial came on, the Geico Pothole commercial. We both cheered in excitement. Christeen, being the dedicated Bama fan he is, ran to the television to see what play got us pumped. He wasn't as amused with the pothole commercial. Haha. As the room started to fill with fans around 8 pm, I looked to see what kind of audience we were dealing with. It was definitely an assortment of different cultures. There were sorority girls, cowboys, "thugs" ,elders, people trying to hard with their look and people not trying hard enough with their look. After showering at the hotel, I drove back to the bar and stood next to Christeen for the show. I felt like I had not spent much time with the little critter and kinda missed his annoyance. Haha. After the show I had found out that there was a stabbing right before the show started! That was a Pygmie first! Apparently, a young man was dancing with a married woman, and the husband was not too happy about it. After the show, I sold some shirts, talked with some fans, and surveyed the parking lot for the blood spatter. I was then summoned by Chris to get the van from across the street and turn the heat on in it. He has some nerve to ask me, but I am too nice, so I summoned Christeen to walk with me to the van, Jason followed like a lost puppy. I drove Jason back to the hotel, stopped by a taco bell, then headed back to the bar. I was sadly informed there would be no Waffle House that night since Cameron and Brad were gonna drive home after the show. I guess Christeen figured that if the "entertainment" wasn't going to attend, then he wouldn't either. Or maybe he is sweet on Brad, I'm not entirely sure. When we headed back to the hotel I passed out. It had been a long weekend, and I was tired.Sunday I woke up, showered, and headed home. It was a 6 hour drive... there was no use postponing the inevitable.
Until next time
KTPH
