Fun Pygmie Video From Texas 2005

Pygmies in Texas in 05

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Christeen's birthday in Mobile becomes a memorable event... from what he can remember.

On Saturday, December 12th the band traveled from Auburn, AL to Soul Kitchen in Mobile, AL. I was excited, the band is finally playing back close to my home and it was Christeen's 22nd birthday! I started the day off by baking some cupcakes for the birthday boy. Then my cousin and I headed to Mobile with cupcakes, presents and cameras in hand. When I arrived at the bar the band was starting to set up the lights for the show. I snacked on some Arby's french fries and watched the "excitement". Some Christeen came down off the ladder and opened his gifts and ate a cupcake. I guess his way of thanking me was saying "what?! no sprinkles?!" cause that's about all he said about it. Haha. The guys went to the hotel to change for the show. I stayed in the bar and mingled with some fans. The show started around midnight, due to the DOWN POOR outside, fans were a little thin in the audience. But, like Cameron always says, it doesn't matter who didn't show up to the show, it mattered who DID show up to the show. I started buying Christeen whiskey shots by his request. With each trip to the bar his laughter grew. He is a funny drunk. He also booed the band more than usual, I'm guessing it was the alcohol talking as well. By the end of the show it was all he could do to stand up straight and not fall over. As the band was tearing things down I went into the bathroom to survey the damage. I don't know why, but Soul Kitchen's bathrooms are some of the WORST bathrooms I have ever seen in a bar. Even before the show they are dirty. This time was no different. There was pools of blood in one of the stalls. I found out later that a young lady, named Alex, had cut her foot on glass during the show. I hope she is okay, there was a ton of blood! The night ended with Christeen trying to put Cameron in a head lock and yelling I'm gonna choke you out and the rain flooding the roads, leaving very little room to drive anywhere. David, Kristi and attempted the drive to the Waffle House... I had to drive down the middle of the road to avoid getting stuck in the flood waters. Another wild night at a Pygmies show, haha.

Pygmies Play a Monday Gig... sure to ruin all plans for Tuesday morning!

On December 7th the Velcro Pygmies played a show a little out of the ordinary... a Monday night gig in Auburn, AL. Every year, it is the Pygmies job to throw the Auburn students a pre-final party. This year was no exception, Bourbon Street Bar was their next victim....

I drove straight from work to the show with my cousin. It was a 3 hour drive, lucky me. We arrived at the bar and parked around back where the Pygmie's Truck was parked. David, my cousin, and I then walked to the front of the bar. It was only around 10 pm and the band was not there yet. I showed the security guard my I.D. and he said "that'll be $10" I informed him I should be on the VIPygmie list and do not pay to get into shows. It was at this point I had to decide where this was going... was he gonna be the cool guy and say "Oh,cool well go right in." or was he gonna be the power trip security guard and cause me to write about him in the blog... let's just say, he WILL be talked about in this blog. He said he didn't have a list and I had to pay. I called Angel to see where he was so he could walk in with us. While on the phone Angel asked to speak with the guard, the guard refused, saying that even though it said "Angel-Zach Sanders" on my phone, it could be anyone. I wanna know what person would go to THAT much trouble to get into a bar without paying the 10 bucks! Did I mention I was wearing a custom Kate The Pyghead Velcro Pygmies T-shirt and hat?! Ridiculous! So, instead of staying in the bar before the show, I sat outside... where it was cold and raining. Angel finally arrived and walked in with us. I had several glaring eyes on me from the security as I entered the bar. Now I'm not conceited, nor do I think I am better than anyone else, but under most circumstances, my reputation and "fame" proceeds myself. They didn't know who they were dealing with. They must have been using the power trip to make up for some small appendage they have, just saying. The show was great. Jenna bought me a few drinks and in know time I was taking pictures like a crazy person. It surprises me how great they all come out when I do that. lol. It was a short Pygmies show, it only lasted a few hours but it was well worth the trip. I was even able to grab a quick snap shot or two of Christeen... smiling! After the show I hung around and watched the guys tear down the tiny stage. Since they were only playing one show, all the guys drove home right after the show. David and I then took the long drove home. He slept most of the way. About half way home I called up Christeen because I was feeling tired. While we were talking my car decided to slip from 5th gear to 3rd gear...... by itself. The last road trip ever for my beloved Ford Fuckus, lol.

The Pygmies start off December with a big BANG!

On Thursday, December 3rd, the band was heading to Florence, AL for a night of rock n' roll like no other. I had decided to just go to the shows on Friday and Saturday instead. It would have been a long, long driving weekend if I went to all of them. While sitting in my p.j.'s on Thursday afternoon, I received a text message from Angel. He was asking if I was going to attend the show that night. I informed in about the distance I would have to travel. Fortunately, Angel, Christeen and Cameron are the only guys that can talk me into going to shows that far away... Angel had succeeded on this one. I immediately got dressed, packed, showered and headed towards Florence, AL... a six hour drive :( I arrived in Florence around 7 pm and the band was still setting up at Brinely Bros. The bar was long and narrow, similar to Peach Tree Tavern in Atlanta (for those of you whom have been). The stage was not "Pygmie friendly" Chris's drum set sat behind a support beam... and the stage was so small they had to put some of their case down to stand on to help accommodate their wild rock show. The band headed towards the hotel. Jameson Inn was our home for the night. I sat in the hotel and freshened up. Cameron stopped by the room and gave me some "Official Merchandise" of the Velcro Pygmies. It was a cool hat. It was really cold outside that night! I headed back to the bar with Angel and prepared ourselves for a show! The fans were really into it! The show went very well. The stage held up. The only part that became dangerous was the ceiling fan that hung above Angel's head. Every flip of his guitar had me cringing, just waiting for his next flip to become his last. After the show I headed to Waffle House with Dep. I kept him company while he ordered take-out. A nice, healthy wheat sandwich and a big chocolate milk. I took him back to the hotel, then headed back to the bar to watch the band finish up packing up the equipment. I bet you wonder why on Earth I would go BACK to the bar, after I was already at the hotel. The band's best conversations and memorable moments, happen after the shows. I looked up the Pygmies hater blog and laughed at the newest entry. He had revised the blog he had written about his latest Pygmie show in Texas. Pygmie fans were outraged when our beloved Pyghater was not hating on the Pygmies. It was not near as fun to read a nice blog. He is a Pyghater... he needs to be hating! The fans never hear of people disliking the Pygmies, it's a fresh alternative to all our mushy Pygmie fan world. Ergo, the Pyghater changed his original nice blog, to that of one that was borderline offensive, just the way we like it :) Christeen and I drove back to the hotel. I had just got my car fixed, I think his intention was to break it again. Word to the wise, don't ever let Christeen take your keys and say, "let's see how well they fixed your car"... I nearly lost my life that night, Ford Focus' are not race cars, nor do they drive like one. A quick trip with Cameron, Brad and Christeen to the Florence Waffle House. Yummy. It was followed by another dangerous car ride to the hotel, where I could have used a helmet and a safety harness of some sort. As we got out of the car he handed me my keys, I dropped them. He gave me a funny smirk and told me to pick them up. I was a bit nervous. With a smile like that I knew he was contemplating something. As I reached down for my keys he jumped me like a dog in heat. Well, not as much me, as my face. I had never been "punched" in the face by a penis before, but I guess there's a first for everything. I went back to the hotel, iced my bruised head, and went to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day of adventures.

Friday I got up late, and only had time to brush my teeth, wash my face and head out the door. I followed Angel to drop off his car. He was going to be my passenger for the trip. It's not like we're friends or anything, but it is a good excuse for riding in the HOV lane. I do the same thing on trips with my dog. Haha. We plugged in his satellite radio and my gps and headed towards Meridian, MS for the bar's GRAND OPENING. As we were driving into Meridian, we noticed some road construction. This was not the first time, and I don't think it'll be the last, that my GPS lead us to the wrong place. We got a hold of Chris, who gave us directions. The bar was awesome! If you have ever been to Rhythm & Brews is Tuscaloosa you'd understand when I say, it was exactly the same... but 10 times bigger. The band set up all the lights while I organized the t-shirts. I then made a nice little table out of the cases, and Christeen set up a light so that I wouldn't be in the dark selling the shirts. I headed to the hotel with Angel along side of me ( i didn't know if there were gonna be any HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I wanted to play it safe). At the hotel Angel, Christeen and I played around in the parking lot while Cameron bought the hotel rooms. Angel had bought a sling-shot... very scary. The sling-shot instantly turned Angel and Christeen into 5 year old boys. They were finding random objects to throw in it. Rocks, toys, lighters, and Chik-Fil-A sauce packets ...anything they could get their hands on. I showered in the hotel, changed and drove with Angel to the hotel. As luck would have it, there were no HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I felt generous and gave him a ride anyway. It was cold out, I'd hate see to see him get sick because I made him walk to the bar. The bar was starting to rock. The fans were different than the usual Pygmies crowd. These fans stood in anticipation, not knowing what to expect out of this "80's cover-band called The Velcro Pygmies". I positioned myself at the front of the stage. I figured, a Pygmie veteran, like myself, would show these soon-to-be Pygheads how to rock out at a Pygmie show. I love to watch the faces of the crowd when the Pygmies hit that first note... their faces light up in shock! All that power, all that electricity... all that spandex. Haha. The show was a lot of fun. I gained a lesbian lover. Whom declared her homosexuality by grinding up and down on me, nearly knocking me to the floor. Don't worry, I was detained, but Cameron was more than willingly to snap a few candid shots of the sexual harassment. It was then I had decided to go to stand side stage, I felt a tiny bit safer next to Christeen, which isn't saying much, since my head still was hurting from the previous night's dong-beating. After the show I went outside, it was snowing! I was determined to make a snow angel, but my outfit wouldn't permit me from doing so... not enough layers to stay warm. I took Dep to the hotel, then went back to the bar and chatted it up with John Farrell through texting. It's always nice to know that other band guys exist outside the Pygmies, lol. Though I consider Farrell a permanent family member of the band. We headed to Waffle House in Cameron's Yukon. His leather seats made it nearly impossible to get warm... and the defrosters couldn't work hard or fast enough to get the ice off the front windshield to see. He drove off anyway. I thought, here I go again, another night of dangerous travels with the Pygmies. We arrived at Waffle House in one piece, freezing, but in one piece. We got the privilege of Cameron serenading us with original Waffle House songs from the juke box. I did take a video of his rendition of "Special Lady at the Waffle House" but it was on my phone, ask me about seeing it at the next show you attend, you don't want to miss out on this "gift" that Cameron supplies us with during our meal. We all headed back to the hotel. The next day's drive would be a long one, lucky, lucky us!

Saturday, December 6th, I woke up, called Angel, and we packed my car up, headed to Scottsboro, AL. Which is about a 4 hour drive. Driving with Angel is very entertaining. Most of the gas stations we stop at are truck stops, which leaves Angel to wander around in the truck stop while I pump gas. I guess you could call them impulse buys... sling-shots, giant lighters, stuffed animals, pantie hose, fleece NY Mets blankets. Pretty much the stuff that NEVER sells at a gas station, Angel buys, and usually the dust on them proves my statement. It's always a surprise when he gets back in my car. As we were driving down a back road of Alabama, we came across a road block. There were 7 cop cars and 3 women in cuffs... none of which were wearing shoes, socks, nor under garments of any kind. It was like an episode of COPS. I was hoping to see one in a Pygmies shirt. For those of you who haven't heard this story, in the event that you get carried out of your trailer in handcuffs wearing a Pygmie tee on an episode of COPS, the Velcro Pygmies will play at your house for free. So far, no die-hard Pygmie fans have lived up to the challenge. Anyway, back to the blog. After about 20 minutes of watching this all go down, the cops drove off and allowed us to pass through. We arrived at the bar around 5:30 pm. As we pulled up we were a bit skeptical about it. It looked like an abandoned building. Cameron's SUV was there, so we walked in. The inside wasn't much better. Wild Horse is exactly like you'd expect. Random, miss-matched chairs and tables cover the floor, horse shoes, neon beer advertisements, and 70's mirrors decorate the walls, and the smell is similar to that of a roller rink... old shoes. haha The stage was good size. All I cared about was their nice lcd tv's that were mounted on the wall... it was the SEC football Championship, Roll Tide! I ran some errands for the guys, getting coffee, energy drinks, Gatorade, and food, then headed back to watch the end of the Bama game. It was funny, Jason and I were watching the commercials during the game, and our favorite commercial came on, the Geico Pothole commercial. We both cheered in excitement. Christeen, being the dedicated Bama fan he is, ran to the television to see what play got us pumped. He wasn't as amused with the pothole commercial. Haha. As the room started to fill with fans around 8 pm, I looked to see what kind of audience we were dealing with. It was definitely an assortment of different cultures. There were sorority girls, cowboys, "thugs" ,elders, people trying to hard with their look and people not trying hard enough with their look. After showering at the hotel, I drove back to the bar and stood next to Christeen for the show. I felt like I had not spent much time with the little critter and kinda missed his annoyance. Haha. After the show I had found out that there was a stabbing right before the show started! That was a Pygmie first! Apparently, a young man was dancing with a married woman, and the husband was not too happy about it. After the show, I sold some shirts, talked with some fans, and surveyed the parking lot for the blood spatter. I was then summoned by Chris to get the van from across the street and turn the heat on in it. He has some nerve to ask me, but I am too nice, so I summoned Christeen to walk with me to the van, Jason followed like a lost puppy. I drove Jason back to the hotel, stopped by a taco bell, then headed back to the bar. I was sadly informed there would be no Waffle House that night since Cameron and Brad were gonna drive home after the show. I guess Christeen figured that if the "entertainment" wasn't going to attend, then he wouldn't either. Or maybe he is sweet on Brad, I'm not entirely sure. When we headed back to the hotel I passed out. It had been a long weekend, and I was tired.

Sunday I woke up, showered, and headed home. It was a 6 hour drive... there was no use postponing the inevitable.

Until next time
KTPH

Artist Spotlight: Zach "Angel" Sanders

Angel is the newest musician to The Velcro Pygmies. Having joined the band at the end of 2007, this young guitarist has quickly become a fan favorite (especially with the ladies). One look and listen and you too will be "touched by an Angel"! Here's all you need to know about the band's newest heart throb.

Name: Zachary Dean Sanders
Birth Date: April 27, 1983
Birth place: Huntsville, AL
Eye Color: tomb stone
Hair Color: Not sure anymore
Height: 5'11"
Piercings: ears, nose, labret, nipples
Tattoos: 3 big ones
Instruments you play: guitar, bass, drums, and mandolin
Your most overused phrase: "Oh No!"

FAVORITES
Food: Mexican
Color: black
Candy: Sour Patch Kids
Animal: A muppet
Drink: Sunny D
Alcohol: Whiskey
Song: "Wings of a butterfly" by HIM
Band: HIM

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke? Coke
McDonald's or Burger King? McDonald's
Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
Summer or Winter? Summer
Scary movies or funny movies? both, equally
Love or Money? Love

YOUR...
Most missed childhood memory: My Dad teaching me to ride a bike
First thought waking up: What's that sticking up in the sheets?
Goal for this year: To move
Fears: Hitler and Procreation

HAVE YOU EVER...
Been beaten up? Yes
Beaten up someone? Yes
Shoplifted? Yes
Skinny Dipped? Yes
Been arrested? Yes
Went streaking? Yes

RANDOMS
What country do you want to visit? Italy
Do you like thunderstorms? Yes, I love them!
Are you a health freak? I try to be
Do you smoke? No
Ever been in love? Yes
Do you want children? Yes

LAST THOUGHTS OR COMMENTS:
Life is like crapps, so poop it.

Hanging with the Pygs and Eatin Slop

I only went to ONE Pygmies show this weekend... I know, I know, only ONE? I have to be able to balance BOTH of my families around the holidays! So, here's what happened...

Normally I'd talk about the show I attended, but since the MOST eventful thing that happened this last weekend was at a show I did NOT attend, I'm gonna share THAT excitement first.

Friday night the band got ready to play their usual Post-Iron Bowl show. They were at the AGR fraternity house. The guys were setting up for the show and Cameron went to get some cinder blocks from outside the covered stage. As he bent down to pick them up, he stepped on a rake. Let's pause for a moment...imagine a cartoon version of Cameron... ok, back to reality. The mean 'ol rake jumped up and hit him directly between the eyes. Now, remember that cartoon Cameron? Imagine the cartoon with little tweetie birds flying around his head. ( I knew I could make you laugh). The rake left a nice shiner on one of his eyes. It looks very rugged. He also woke up Saturday morning with a wonderful headache. All I gotta say is, I wish I had the camera rolling! Only CAMERON would do that. lol

Alright, now, on with the blog... I drove directly after work to the show. It took me over 3 hours, so I got there later than usual... around 9:30 or so. I headed to McDonald's before the show, 10 pc. chicken nuggets were calling my name. I took the nuggets into the bar. ( That sounded weird if you were to read that out of context) The band had already left and were at the hotel getting ready, except for Teen, who was lagging behind and only had one word to say to me as he walked out the front door "boooooo". I have never, and probably will never, understand the importance of "boooooooing" at someone. Webster's dictionary calls it "an exclamation of contempt or disapproval" maybe someday Christeen will explain it to me. I went at the side of the stage to eat my chicken nuggets and check my email on my phone. I also texted John "Gumbo" Farrell to see what he was up to... nothing good, as usual. After an hour or so, Angel showed up to the bar, as well as Debbie and Jack. The party had officially arrived! Haha. For those of you that know Jack "The Pimp" know exactly what I'm talking about! We all stood around and talked about the LACK of fans in the bar. It made me a little worried for a while, but Pygmies fans always pull through. By midnight, the place was filled with eager fans staring at the stage, hoping to get a glimpse of a furry boot, or a converse tennis shoe. The show was AMAZING, as all Supper Club shows are! The lights, fog and entertainment are always something to brag about. There is a reason the band is number one in Auburn, they have certainly earned the title. They rocked until 4 a.m.!!! After the show, the band chatted with fans as the song "Get the F*** outta here" played over the P.A.. It was time to get back to work, tearing the stage down. I love the Supper Club, but it takes SOOOO long for them to tear down the stage there. I guess that's the price you have to pay for a great light show! Joany, Turck's wife, and I headed back to the hotel around 6 am... the band was still working, and we were tired and cold. We watched a little Roseanne on the television and waited for the band to finish up and shower so we could hit up the famous Auburn Waffle House. Brad busted through the hotel door around 7 a.m. We watched the youtube video of the Pygmies that the Supper Club took that night. Cameron was freshly showered and ready for the All-Star combo at La Casa De Waffles. We hung out at the Waffle House and enjoyed the warmth and comfort of "healthy" food. Teen left his sunglasses on the entire time. He said it was because he was tired... I think he thought he looked "cool"... or whatever you would call Teen wearing sunglasses. You can insert whatever adjective you so desire ;) I then drove ALL the way home... I can't believe I made it in one piece. Word to the wise, don't stay up over 30 hours and try to drive... it's not safe.

Until Next weekend!
And remember, help control the pet population- remind Angel to always wear a condom. ( haha, I heard that from Bob Barker on the price is right... it was worded a bit different)

KTPH