KTPH is still alive... promise!

Well, welcome back! It has been so long since I have typed out a blog, after countless hours with the Pygmies I am having trouble figuring out where on Earth to start! I am gonna tell you a little about the guys then blog about recent events that are still fresh in my mind... that way YOU get all the current juicy details of our Pygmies shows!

So... it's been over a month since the last blog... let me tell you my "interactions" with the guys...

For the last several moths I have learned so much about fans, the band and Kate The Pyghead, my observation of the band lifestyle has changed... and has made me grow to respect each member of the band even more. Over the last several years as a "hardcore" Pyghead, I have seen Dep change from a wild rockstar, to a wonderful loving boyfriend and father. Seeing him with Cash and Kristen is amazing, and they are incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful man that takes care of them with such love and devotion! He has grown in the last few years, it is so cool to see the smile on his face when he talks about either one of them. A man in love is not hard to find. They're the ones grinning from ear to ear knowing how lucky they are. That is Dep 100%.

Angel and I have been traveling together the last few months, so I have learned a lot about his past and his hopes for the future. Many people don't know this, but Angel used to be a Smoothie King employee. He also has many funny stories about living with his buddy Bert, from DOWN STROKE, in a one room house.He is quite entertaining on the road. I enjoy the time we've spent together and think it has definitely strengthened our friendship. He has learned to keep his gas station splurges to a minimum which is also nice. I have not recieved a NY Mets fleece blanket in a while, nor a hard carved pen chizzled into a snake. For those of you who don't know, Angel will pick up anything and everything at a truck stop gas station. Anything that will make the cashier say "let me check the price on this, it has been on our shelf for years, here's a towel to dust it off with". I guess there is just never a dull moment with Angel, and I lve him even more for it!

Chris has had a few awesome moments in the last few months. Everything from his first official introduction to my mother, where he later told me... and I quote "Your mom is so sweet, how the hell your mean ass came out of her I will never know" to him calling me up to chat about his family life. My guess is, he was bored. Never the less, I listened and gave him my opinion on the situation. Its funny, Eddins and I have a relationship of insults, and every now and then a moment of kindness thrown in. It works for us. He talks about his dogs like they were his babies, it's quite sweet. He talks about Emily like she is the only thing worth living for in his life, it is a little too sweet for my taste, but he is a good guy, and I respect him for having the balls to be that sensitive. He has been there for me when I need him, even if it is to ask some advice or to drive my NEW car around and tell me what he thinks might be wrong with it. Eddins is a tough guy with a sweet side, what a catch, Emily is a lucky lady.

Cameron has always been my favorite Pygmie. I don't mean that any other way, other than he KNOWS how to make you smile, even when you dont think you have the strength. After hundreds of Waffle House trips I have learned a lot about the man... he has the fastest metabolism I have ever seen. He gets the ALL-STAR at Waffle House which is: Eggs scrambled , grits in a bowl with sugar piled on top, bacon- crispy, toast with honey, and a waffle cooked for at least 12 minutes ( in other words- BLACK) to drink, an un-sweet tea with an extra glass of ice. I can't believe he wears a size 0 in womens. That's right a size ZERO! All women can now send him a nasty email describing their jealously to a man with size zero pants. He has had some crazy jobs, radio host, and even a singing telegram guy. Ask him to show you his "Super Stud" routine... you WON'T be sorry! Recently I brought some new Pygmie virgins to a show, I know, I know, KTPH has friends that HAVEN'T seen the band?! Haha, they had seen pictures and were wanting to stand in front of Dep during the show. A few days later I asked how they liked the performance, they said they thought Dep was hot, but Cameron stole their hearts. I hear this time and time again from fans. Cameron may be the sweetest guy I know, a loving husband to Karey, and a great friend.

Pete is always the quiet Pygmie. Many people see the show and don't realize how much work Pete does. If you think I'm wrong you need to come to a show and stand and watch Pete work his magic. He times every light and sound to perfection at every show. He is the 5th band member "playing" on the stage, he just "plays" from the back of the room. I am happy that Pete has found the love of his life, he deserves the best, and I am glad he found it in Brandy.

Brad has turned into an amazing addition to the Pygmies family. When adding a Pygmie member, I think Cameron's main requirement is sarcasm. Brad fits in perfect. He works so hard for the band. Brad used to be a cop and his intimidation works well on those crazy drunks that cause problems.He is always looking to see what to do for others. He must get that from his beautiful wife, Joany. I am so happy that I've got to get to know them the last few months. Both of them are really sweet.

Last but certainly NOT least, Christeen. He has always been my buddy at shows. We have shared some great times. Everything from riding around in my "Mario Kart" Ford Focus to Waffle Housing and talking about our families. He is the greatest friend. I think his "famous" line is "show me your boobs". He knows he won't get a peek, but I guess he feels better to say things out loud that he is thinking. He has taken care of me when I needed it.  In the last few months he has changed... physically! He cut off his beautiful hair. Many people opposed his new do, but I like it. I respect every decision he makes, and as a friend I stand behind him in whatever his choices are in life. He is truly a sweetheart, and is loved by the band and I so much.

Now that I've gone through the band and my "fun" situations and memories, let's move on to this last weekend and the blogging that is LONG over-due!

Unitil next time...
KTPH

Artist Spotlight: Brad Turck

The Velcro Pygmies have had roadies come and go, but by far the toughest, most bad ASS roadie the band has ever had is... TURCK. Don't let looks fool you, he is really a puppy dog, just ask his beautiful wife! His hard work shows, the Pygmies are lucky to have such a great guy. Let's learn more about the newest addition to the world famous Velcro Pygmies.




 Name: Brad James Turck
Birth Date: September 20, 1964
Birth place: Kingston, NY
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Yeah right
Height: 5'11"
Piercings: no
Tattoos: arms and legs
Instruments you play: iphone
Your most overused phrase: "You talkin to me!"

FAVORITES
Food: Chicken marsala
Color: Red
Candy: chocalate covered raisins
Animal: Dog
Drink: Killer buzz
Alcohol: Jager
Song: "Jamies cryin"
Band: Van Halen

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke? Coke
McDonald's or Burger King? McDonald's
Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
Summer or Winter? Summer
Scary movies or funny movie? Funny
Love or Money? Love

YOUR...
Most missed childhood memory: Spendind time with my grandmother
First thought waking up: How to make my wife happier
Goal for this year: Find more ways to make the wife happier
Fears: pissing of the wife

HAVE YOU EVER...
Been beaten up? No
Beaten up someone? Yes
Shoplifted? Yes
Skinny Dipped? Yes
Been arrested? Yes
Went streaking? Yes

RANDOMS
What country do you want to visit? Austraila
Do you like thunderstorms? Yes
Are you a health freak? freak yes health no
Do you smoke? a good cigar once in awhile
Ever been in love? Only to the most amazing woman ever !!
Do you want children? Already have two great girls

LAST THOUGHTS OR COMMENTS:
" What goes around comes around "

Fun Pygmie Video From Texas 2005

Pygmies in Texas in 05

Velcro Pygmies | MySpace Music Videos

Velcro Pygmies NEW Merchandise STORE!

Christeen's birthday in Mobile becomes a memorable event... from what he can remember.

On Saturday, December 12th the band traveled from Auburn, AL to Soul Kitchen in Mobile, AL. I was excited, the band is finally playing back close to my home and it was Christeen's 22nd birthday! I started the day off by baking some cupcakes for the birthday boy. Then my cousin and I headed to Mobile with cupcakes, presents and cameras in hand. When I arrived at the bar the band was starting to set up the lights for the show. I snacked on some Arby's french fries and watched the "excitement". Some Christeen came down off the ladder and opened his gifts and ate a cupcake. I guess his way of thanking me was saying "what?! no sprinkles?!" cause that's about all he said about it. Haha. The guys went to the hotel to change for the show. I stayed in the bar and mingled with some fans. The show started around midnight, due to the DOWN POOR outside, fans were a little thin in the audience. But, like Cameron always says, it doesn't matter who didn't show up to the show, it mattered who DID show up to the show. I started buying Christeen whiskey shots by his request. With each trip to the bar his laughter grew. He is a funny drunk. He also booed the band more than usual, I'm guessing it was the alcohol talking as well. By the end of the show it was all he could do to stand up straight and not fall over. As the band was tearing things down I went into the bathroom to survey the damage. I don't know why, but Soul Kitchen's bathrooms are some of the WORST bathrooms I have ever seen in a bar. Even before the show they are dirty. This time was no different. There was pools of blood in one of the stalls. I found out later that a young lady, named Alex, had cut her foot on glass during the show. I hope she is okay, there was a ton of blood! The night ended with Christeen trying to put Cameron in a head lock and yelling I'm gonna choke you out and the rain flooding the roads, leaving very little room to drive anywhere. David, Kristi and attempted the drive to the Waffle House... I had to drive down the middle of the road to avoid getting stuck in the flood waters. Another wild night at a Pygmies show, haha.

Pygmies Play a Monday Gig... sure to ruin all plans for Tuesday morning!

On December 7th the Velcro Pygmies played a show a little out of the ordinary... a Monday night gig in Auburn, AL. Every year, it is the Pygmies job to throw the Auburn students a pre-final party. This year was no exception, Bourbon Street Bar was their next victim....

I drove straight from work to the show with my cousin. It was a 3 hour drive, lucky me. We arrived at the bar and parked around back where the Pygmie's Truck was parked. David, my cousin, and I then walked to the front of the bar. It was only around 10 pm and the band was not there yet. I showed the security guard my I.D. and he said "that'll be $10" I informed him I should be on the VIPygmie list and do not pay to get into shows. It was at this point I had to decide where this was going... was he gonna be the cool guy and say "Oh,cool well go right in." or was he gonna be the power trip security guard and cause me to write about him in the blog... let's just say, he WILL be talked about in this blog. He said he didn't have a list and I had to pay. I called Angel to see where he was so he could walk in with us. While on the phone Angel asked to speak with the guard, the guard refused, saying that even though it said "Angel-Zach Sanders" on my phone, it could be anyone. I wanna know what person would go to THAT much trouble to get into a bar without paying the 10 bucks! Did I mention I was wearing a custom Kate The Pyghead Velcro Pygmies T-shirt and hat?! Ridiculous! So, instead of staying in the bar before the show, I sat outside... where it was cold and raining. Angel finally arrived and walked in with us. I had several glaring eyes on me from the security as I entered the bar. Now I'm not conceited, nor do I think I am better than anyone else, but under most circumstances, my reputation and "fame" proceeds myself. They didn't know who they were dealing with. They must have been using the power trip to make up for some small appendage they have, just saying. The show was great. Jenna bought me a few drinks and in know time I was taking pictures like a crazy person. It surprises me how great they all come out when I do that. lol. It was a short Pygmies show, it only lasted a few hours but it was well worth the trip. I was even able to grab a quick snap shot or two of Christeen... smiling! After the show I hung around and watched the guys tear down the tiny stage. Since they were only playing one show, all the guys drove home right after the show. David and I then took the long drove home. He slept most of the way. About half way home I called up Christeen because I was feeling tired. While we were talking my car decided to slip from 5th gear to 3rd gear...... by itself. The last road trip ever for my beloved Ford Fuckus, lol.

The Pygmies start off December with a big BANG!

On Thursday, December 3rd, the band was heading to Florence, AL for a night of rock n' roll like no other. I had decided to just go to the shows on Friday and Saturday instead. It would have been a long, long driving weekend if I went to all of them. While sitting in my p.j.'s on Thursday afternoon, I received a text message from Angel. He was asking if I was going to attend the show that night. I informed in about the distance I would have to travel. Fortunately, Angel, Christeen and Cameron are the only guys that can talk me into going to shows that far away... Angel had succeeded on this one. I immediately got dressed, packed, showered and headed towards Florence, AL... a six hour drive :( I arrived in Florence around 7 pm and the band was still setting up at Brinely Bros. The bar was long and narrow, similar to Peach Tree Tavern in Atlanta (for those of you whom have been). The stage was not "Pygmie friendly" Chris's drum set sat behind a support beam... and the stage was so small they had to put some of their case down to stand on to help accommodate their wild rock show. The band headed towards the hotel. Jameson Inn was our home for the night. I sat in the hotel and freshened up. Cameron stopped by the room and gave me some "Official Merchandise" of the Velcro Pygmies. It was a cool hat. It was really cold outside that night! I headed back to the bar with Angel and prepared ourselves for a show! The fans were really into it! The show went very well. The stage held up. The only part that became dangerous was the ceiling fan that hung above Angel's head. Every flip of his guitar had me cringing, just waiting for his next flip to become his last. After the show I headed to Waffle House with Dep. I kept him company while he ordered take-out. A nice, healthy wheat sandwich and a big chocolate milk. I took him back to the hotel, then headed back to the bar to watch the band finish up packing up the equipment. I bet you wonder why on Earth I would go BACK to the bar, after I was already at the hotel. The band's best conversations and memorable moments, happen after the shows. I looked up the Pygmies hater blog and laughed at the newest entry. He had revised the blog he had written about his latest Pygmie show in Texas. Pygmie fans were outraged when our beloved Pyghater was not hating on the Pygmies. It was not near as fun to read a nice blog. He is a Pyghater... he needs to be hating! The fans never hear of people disliking the Pygmies, it's a fresh alternative to all our mushy Pygmie fan world. Ergo, the Pyghater changed his original nice blog, to that of one that was borderline offensive, just the way we like it :) Christeen and I drove back to the hotel. I had just got my car fixed, I think his intention was to break it again. Word to the wise, don't ever let Christeen take your keys and say, "let's see how well they fixed your car"... I nearly lost my life that night, Ford Focus' are not race cars, nor do they drive like one. A quick trip with Cameron, Brad and Christeen to the Florence Waffle House. Yummy. It was followed by another dangerous car ride to the hotel, where I could have used a helmet and a safety harness of some sort. As we got out of the car he handed me my keys, I dropped them. He gave me a funny smirk and told me to pick them up. I was a bit nervous. With a smile like that I knew he was contemplating something. As I reached down for my keys he jumped me like a dog in heat. Well, not as much me, as my face. I had never been "punched" in the face by a penis before, but I guess there's a first for everything. I went back to the hotel, iced my bruised head, and went to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day of adventures.

Friday I got up late, and only had time to brush my teeth, wash my face and head out the door. I followed Angel to drop off his car. He was going to be my passenger for the trip. It's not like we're friends or anything, but it is a good excuse for riding in the HOV lane. I do the same thing on trips with my dog. Haha. We plugged in his satellite radio and my gps and headed towards Meridian, MS for the bar's GRAND OPENING. As we were driving into Meridian, we noticed some road construction. This was not the first time, and I don't think it'll be the last, that my GPS lead us to the wrong place. We got a hold of Chris, who gave us directions. The bar was awesome! If you have ever been to Rhythm & Brews is Tuscaloosa you'd understand when I say, it was exactly the same... but 10 times bigger. The band set up all the lights while I organized the t-shirts. I then made a nice little table out of the cases, and Christeen set up a light so that I wouldn't be in the dark selling the shirts. I headed to the hotel with Angel along side of me ( i didn't know if there were gonna be any HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I wanted to play it safe). At the hotel Angel, Christeen and I played around in the parking lot while Cameron bought the hotel rooms. Angel had bought a sling-shot... very scary. The sling-shot instantly turned Angel and Christeen into 5 year old boys. They were finding random objects to throw in it. Rocks, toys, lighters, and Chik-Fil-A sauce packets ...anything they could get their hands on. I showered in the hotel, changed and drove with Angel to the hotel. As luck would have it, there were no HOV lanes on the way to the hotel, but I felt generous and gave him a ride anyway. It was cold out, I'd hate see to see him get sick because I made him walk to the bar. The bar was starting to rock. The fans were different than the usual Pygmies crowd. These fans stood in anticipation, not knowing what to expect out of this "80's cover-band called The Velcro Pygmies". I positioned myself at the front of the stage. I figured, a Pygmie veteran, like myself, would show these soon-to-be Pygheads how to rock out at a Pygmie show. I love to watch the faces of the crowd when the Pygmies hit that first note... their faces light up in shock! All that power, all that electricity... all that spandex. Haha. The show was a lot of fun. I gained a lesbian lover. Whom declared her homosexuality by grinding up and down on me, nearly knocking me to the floor. Don't worry, I was detained, but Cameron was more than willingly to snap a few candid shots of the sexual harassment. It was then I had decided to go to stand side stage, I felt a tiny bit safer next to Christeen, which isn't saying much, since my head still was hurting from the previous night's dong-beating. After the show I went outside, it was snowing! I was determined to make a snow angel, but my outfit wouldn't permit me from doing so... not enough layers to stay warm. I took Dep to the hotel, then went back to the bar and chatted it up with John Farrell through texting. It's always nice to know that other band guys exist outside the Pygmies, lol. Though I consider Farrell a permanent family member of the band. We headed to Waffle House in Cameron's Yukon. His leather seats made it nearly impossible to get warm... and the defrosters couldn't work hard or fast enough to get the ice off the front windshield to see. He drove off anyway. I thought, here I go again, another night of dangerous travels with the Pygmies. We arrived at Waffle House in one piece, freezing, but in one piece. We got the privilege of Cameron serenading us with original Waffle House songs from the juke box. I did take a video of his rendition of "Special Lady at the Waffle House" but it was on my phone, ask me about seeing it at the next show you attend, you don't want to miss out on this "gift" that Cameron supplies us with during our meal. We all headed back to the hotel. The next day's drive would be a long one, lucky, lucky us!

Saturday, December 6th, I woke up, called Angel, and we packed my car up, headed to Scottsboro, AL. Which is about a 4 hour drive. Driving with Angel is very entertaining. Most of the gas stations we stop at are truck stops, which leaves Angel to wander around in the truck stop while I pump gas. I guess you could call them impulse buys... sling-shots, giant lighters, stuffed animals, pantie hose, fleece NY Mets blankets. Pretty much the stuff that NEVER sells at a gas station, Angel buys, and usually the dust on them proves my statement. It's always a surprise when he gets back in my car. As we were driving down a back road of Alabama, we came across a road block. There were 7 cop cars and 3 women in cuffs... none of which were wearing shoes, socks, nor under garments of any kind. It was like an episode of COPS. I was hoping to see one in a Pygmies shirt. For those of you who haven't heard this story, in the event that you get carried out of your trailer in handcuffs wearing a Pygmie tee on an episode of COPS, the Velcro Pygmies will play at your house for free. So far, no die-hard Pygmie fans have lived up to the challenge. Anyway, back to the blog. After about 20 minutes of watching this all go down, the cops drove off and allowed us to pass through. We arrived at the bar around 5:30 pm. As we pulled up we were a bit skeptical about it. It looked like an abandoned building. Cameron's SUV was there, so we walked in. The inside wasn't much better. Wild Horse is exactly like you'd expect. Random, miss-matched chairs and tables cover the floor, horse shoes, neon beer advertisements, and 70's mirrors decorate the walls, and the smell is similar to that of a roller rink... old shoes. haha The stage was good size. All I cared about was their nice lcd tv's that were mounted on the wall... it was the SEC football Championship, Roll Tide! I ran some errands for the guys, getting coffee, energy drinks, Gatorade, and food, then headed back to watch the end of the Bama game. It was funny, Jason and I were watching the commercials during the game, and our favorite commercial came on, the Geico Pothole commercial. We both cheered in excitement. Christeen, being the dedicated Bama fan he is, ran to the television to see what play got us pumped. He wasn't as amused with the pothole commercial. Haha. As the room started to fill with fans around 8 pm, I looked to see what kind of audience we were dealing with. It was definitely an assortment of different cultures. There were sorority girls, cowboys, "thugs" ,elders, people trying to hard with their look and people not trying hard enough with their look. After showering at the hotel, I drove back to the bar and stood next to Christeen for the show. I felt like I had not spent much time with the little critter and kinda missed his annoyance. Haha. After the show I had found out that there was a stabbing right before the show started! That was a Pygmie first! Apparently, a young man was dancing with a married woman, and the husband was not too happy about it. After the show, I sold some shirts, talked with some fans, and surveyed the parking lot for the blood spatter. I was then summoned by Chris to get the van from across the street and turn the heat on in it. He has some nerve to ask me, but I am too nice, so I summoned Christeen to walk with me to the van, Jason followed like a lost puppy. I drove Jason back to the hotel, stopped by a taco bell, then headed back to the bar. I was sadly informed there would be no Waffle House that night since Cameron and Brad were gonna drive home after the show. I guess Christeen figured that if the "entertainment" wasn't going to attend, then he wouldn't either. Or maybe he is sweet on Brad, I'm not entirely sure. When we headed back to the hotel I passed out. It had been a long weekend, and I was tired.

Sunday I woke up, showered, and headed home. It was a 6 hour drive... there was no use postponing the inevitable.

Until next time
KTPH